Ferretastic!
We own ferrets. Ferrets are possibly the most amazing pets ever, if you have enough money and time to keep them healthy. If you don’t, please don’t get a ferret.
Really.
I’ll get into the costs of keeping ferrets in another post. But to give you an idea of how much it costs to keep two ferrets, my household averages about $400 a month to keep Sarah and Hermia healthy, happy, and likely to live a good long time. They are relatively healthy ferrets. That’s right. We spend a lot more money on vet bills for healthy ferrets than we do on eating out every single month. So don’t get a ferret on a whim, because they deserve better than the impulsive owner can give.
I’m sure I’ll write scads more about how to keep a ferret and not be a Bad Person later. But this post, I primarily want to introduce my ferret family and talk about our history. And play with embedding videos.
As I mentioned before, we currently have two ferrets. Hermia, nicknamed Mia (mīə) is a champagne point. We bought her from a pet store when she was a little kit (baby). I don’t think buying ferrets is a good thing, because there are always rescues out there who need homes, and I don’t remember our reasoning in buying a ferret from a store. But Hermia is a sweet little thing and I’m glad she came to a good home.
Hermia
Hermia is the ferret that steals phones, potatoes, anything in a tube, or anything with a rubberized surface. And I do mean anything. I have a fancy no-slip cover for my Wii Fit board. I have come upon her trying to drag the entire board across the room. She’ll try to drag a pair of pants with phone in the pocket under the couch (one of her favorite stashes). She also really likes playing in packing peanuts. We’ve got a box of pet-safe peanuts for her that we bought once we realized how much she likes them. Here’s a video of us discovering her adorable penchant for peanuts:
We got Mia a few years ago. At the time we had a ferret named Lysander (‘Sander) that we rescued, and we wanted him to have a playmate. ‘Sander was a sable standard, which is the most well-known coloration for a ferret. He’d always been an only ferret, but as ferrets are social creatures we decided to get a second to keep him company. Sadly, there aren’t very many pictures of Lysander anymore. Here’s one of him cuddling with Hermia:
Lysander cuddles Hermia
When we first took Mia home, ‘Sander seemed to think she was another toy. He would grab her in his mouth and drag her around the room, looking for a stash to put her. As soon as he grabbed her, she would go completely limp. He would to drag her to a stash, but as soon as he let go she would immediately bounce up and run away. He’d have to chase her down and try again. They both thought this was fantastic fun, although Lysander was probably quite bewildered by his toy that wouldn’t stay put. At the time, it really freaked me out. Papa T. was a long-time ferret owner by that point and not at all concerned, but ‘Sander was my first one. I’d never really seen ferrets play together, and I had no idea that all the bouncing, dooking, and general shenanigans are totally normal. I’ve never in my life seen a cat or a dog drag another cat or dog around a room. But in a ferret’s world, if you can steal it, it belongs to you. Including, it would seem, other ferrets.
Lysander meets Hermia
Lysander and Hermia ended up becoming very close. At some point, Mia went missing for 3 days. Papa T. and I were beside ourselves with worry, but it wasn’t until she was returned safely home that we realized how depressed Lysander had become too. I know, it sounds like a ridiculous case of anthropomorphism to say that, but only if you haven’t heard of ferrets bonding. Quite simply, ferrets can form very deep emotional bonds with each other and sometimes with humans. If a bonded pair of ferrets is separated, or half of a bond pair dies, the other ferret can become quite depressed and stop eating. Like most small domestic mammals, just a few days without food can kill a ferret. For this reason, you’ll often see rescue ferrets that cannot be separated and must be adopted together. Well, Lysander had bonded with Hermia. When ‘Sander died we were very careful to make sure Mia continued eating and safely got through her mourning.
Hermia has never been much of a people-ferret. She grew up playing with Lysander and didn’t do very well alone. About a year after Lysander died, we decided to get another ferret. Enter Sarah, another rescue. She was being sold along with a TV and couch by a guy that was moving. The idea of getting rid of a pet as casually as a couch is insanity to me. As it turns out, he himself had taken her as a favor to a friend, who found her wandering around in his body shop.
Ferrets, unlike many domesticated animals, cannot survive outside a home. Although there are some cases of successful feral colonies of ferrets, the average ferret that you will find in the USA will die within 72 hours of leaving human care. If you ever see a ferret outside, pick it up and call your local shelter for advice.
Sarah is another sable standard ferret. Because she was a rescue of a rescue, we had no idea what her age was when we got her. Her dentition was fully erupted which is a fancy way of saying she was at least an adult. Based how hyper she is, we’re pretty sure she’s about 3.
Sarah
Sarah is a very strong believer that if she wants it, it must be hers. She loves to steal packing peanuts, socks, stuffed animals, and plastic bags. She doesn’t care what’s in the bag; she just wants the bag. I’ve caught her with a bag of bread, a bag of computer parts, and every morning she wants to take the bag into which I am busily scooping her litter pan. I have failed to catch her before she’s stashed a bag with a shallot in it and a bag of raisins. I’ve recovered the raisins, but I still have never found my shallot. I hope it dries out instead of liquefying, wherever it is. Here’s a movie of Sarah stealing my shoe. She gave up once she realized she couldn’t actually fit it under the couch.
So now you know the ferrets in our house. And I’ve spent way longer writing about them than I should have! Time to go get back to boring chores.
